Oracle of Truth

Claim While delivering the commencement speech at Yale University in 2000, Oracle CEO Larry Ellison said Graduates of Yale University, I cond one if you stick out endured this type of prologue before, entirely I want you to do something for me. Please, take a full look around you. Look at the class fellow on your left. Look at the classmate on your right. Now, gestate this five years from now, 10 years from now, even 30 years from now, odds are the person on your left is going to be a loser. The person on your right, meanwhile, will also be a loser. And you, in the middle?What can you expect? Loser. Loserhood. Loser Cum Laude. location False. Origins In July 2000, an inventive story about Oracle CEO Larry Ellison bestowing an unusual commencement speech upon the graduating class of Yale University began popping up in various inboxes. some(a) were left wondering if this could be the real thing, given what is known of Ellisons famed ego, and because the wide circulation of the 1997 Kurt Vonnegut commencement speech hoax had prepared the way for this darn to sanitary plausible. In truth, Ellison did not give a such a speech at Yale, nor whatsoeverwhere else.The article was the fanciful creation of Andrew Marlatt, a writer for the ridicule website, SatireWire. It was reprinted (with SatireWires express permission) on BBspot, another satirical web site. The full text of the piece ELLISON TO GRADS DIPLOMAS ARE FOR LOSERS Oracle CEO Urges Students to Drop out, Start up novel HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire. com) In one of the more controversial commencement addresses in memory, Oracle CEO and college dropout Larry Ellison told Yales Class of 2000 they were losers whose hard-won diplomas would never propel them into the ranks of the super rich.The evangelical Ellison, noting that college dropouts Bill Gates, capital of Minnesota Allen, and Michael Dell were, like himself, on Forbes recent top 10 list of billionaires, urged freshmen and sophomores at the ceremon y to drop out and start up, and added that the undereducated Yale security guards who ushered him absent stage probably had a better shot at uber-wealth than graduating seniors. What follows is a transcript of the speech delivered by Ellison at the Yale University in conclusion month Graduates of Yale University, I apologize if you have endured this type of prologue before, but I want you to do something for me.Please, take a ood look around you. snopes. com Larry Ellison Loser Commencement Speech http//www. snopes. com/quotes/ellison. asp? print=y ? 1 3? 2012/9/21 1041 Look at the classmate on your left. Look at the classmate on your right. Now, consider this five years from now, 10 years from now, even 30 years from now, odds are the person on your left is going to be a loser. The person on your right, meanwhile, will also be a loser. And you, in the middle? What can you expect? Loser. Loserhood. Loser Cum Laude. In fact, as I look out before me today, I dont see a thousand hop es for a bright tomorrow.I dont see a thousand future leaders in a thousand industries. I see a thousand losers. Youre upset. Thats understandable. After all, how can I, Lawrence Larry Ellison, college dropout, have the audacity to spout such heresy to the graduating class of one of the nations most prestigious institutions? Ill tell you why. Because I, Lawrence Larry Ellison, second richest man on the planet, am a college dropout, and you are not. Because Bill Gates, richest man on the planet for now, whatsoeverway is a college dropout, and you are not. Because Paul Allen, the third richest man on the planet, dropped out of college, and you did not. And for good measure, because Michael Dell, No. 9 on the list and moving up fast, is a college dropout, and you, tho again, are not. Hmm . . . youre very upset. Thats understandable. So let me stroke your egos for a moment by pointing out, quite sincerely, that your diplomas were not attained in vain. Most of you, I imagine, have sp ent four to five years here, and in many ways what youve learned and endured will serve you well in the years ahead. Youve established good work habits. Youve established a network of people that will help you down the road. And youve established what will be lifelong relationships with the word therapy. All that of is good. For in truth, you will need that network. You will need those strong work habits. You will need that therapy. You will need them because you didnt drop out, and so you will never be among the richest people in the world. Oh sure, you may, perhaps, work your way up to No. 10 or No. 11, like Steve Ballmer. But then, I dont have to tell you who he really works for, do I? And for the record, he dropped out of grad school. Bit of a late bloomer. Finally, I realize that many of you, and hopefully by now most of you, are wondering, Is there anything I can do?Is there any hope for me at all? Actually, no. Its too late. Youve take up too much, think you know too much. Youre not 19 anymore. You have a built-in cap, and Im not referring to the mortar boards on your heads. Hmm youre really very upset. Thats understandable. So perhaps this would be a good time to bring up the silver lining. Not for you, Class of 00. You are a write-off, so Ill let you slink off to your pathetic $200,000-a-year jobs, where your checks will be signed by former classmates who dropped out two years ago. Instead, I want to give hope to any underclassmen here today.I say to you, and I cant stress this enough leave. Pack your things and your ideas and dont come back. Drop out. Start up. For I can tell you that a cap and dress will keep you down just as surely as these security guards dragging me off this stage are keeping me down . . . The last line of the piece should have given away the joke, if nothing else did. Larry Ellison being dragged off a stage is a satisfying mental image to ruminate and provides snopes. com Larry Ellison Loser Commencement Speech http//www. sn opes. com/quotes/ellison. asp? print=y ? 2 ? 2012/9/21 1041 a wonderful closing for a piece that would otherwise be difficult to orchestrate an ending for, but thats all it ever could be, even if Ellison had addressed the Yale Class of 2000 and had given that speech. (Which, by the way, he hadnt). antiquated institutions of higher learning have at times chosen keynote speakers theyve later had cause to regret. The price of turning the podium over to another is having to take care politely to the entirety of his address, even if it is offensive. Audiences are still expected to clap at its culmination, and hoever introduced the speaker is still on the hook for thanking him for his insights. Such are the demands of a polite society, with security guards standing poised to remove invited guests who give voice to unpopular sentiments not figuring anywhere into the equation. Should there still be any remnant of doubt about the veracity of the article in question, Yale didnt have a gues t speaker at its 299th graduation ceremony, held in May 2000. Yale seniors trustworthy a more personal address on Class Day, another part of this two-day commencement ceremony.The keynote speaker for that event was Bob Woodward, who graduated from Yale in 1965. (His investigation of the Watergate break-in helped win a Pulitzer Prize for The Washington Post in 1973. ) Larry Ellison is a prime choice for such lampooning because this thrice-married, thricedivorced multimillionaire is known for living bigger than life. A 1997 unofficial biography was titled The Difference Between God and Larry Ellison God Doesnt Think He is Larry Ellison. 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